Perhaps if I'm the one who's dying, I would be less afraid. Perhaps dying is, in a sense, easier than being left behind. I'm afraid that they won't get to be part of the important events in my life, but who can stop death. Who can decide who stays and who goes. We can only try our best, do our best in the present moment.

What is important to you? Please, re-evaluate your life and pursue what is truly important.

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Correction instead of comfort.
100% human indeed.

The closer you are, the more you think you need to speak your mind. I get it, I do it too.. but sometimes comfort/presence is enough because obviously I'm not perfect. AND, guess what? I know it. I mostly rant and forget about it. People rant to get it out of their systems, not to hear how to better themselves. (No longer angry at such things because "you shld expect to get these kind of replies if you want to complain." Sounds sort of similar to "you deserved the catcall/or worse because you wore so scantily" 🤔)

Recently I read this book on how to handle grief in a society that doesn't understand how. Ppl tell you all sorts of things but they sometimes fail to consider that the best way of comfort is just their presence. Because by saying anything at all is disapproving your grief, telling you to "get OVER it". (Like as if time really heals all hurt.) Ofc it comes from a good place, but it doesn't feel good to be on the receiving end.

A few days ago my colleague told me I need to learn design from the basics. I get what he meant; I was not angry, or sad, or anything. I know that I need to do better. But when your friends are telling you things like "maybe you were at fault", "maybe you should not be a designer", "maybe you should give up, try some other jobs", it makes me angry and sad and disappointed. Why can't we as humans be more understanding instead of TELLING others to be understanding? Meh, I shouldn't complain. Girl, reflect, don't react.

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Let's start off with this- my definition (or also that of the dictionary) of mediocre is average, static, and monotonous- it's neither good nor bad, it's ordinary and not adequate.

This link to a forum I came across (ok, I googled) was interesting enough for me to put up a post while I'm preparing to go to sleep. Most of the comments are... sad.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,"said the Cat.
"I don't much care where -" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"- so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Till next post. Good night!

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I believe there's a container of sort in everyone.

We usually live our day to day life with the container nicely packed and tightly shut most of the time. But sometimes, it leaks. The bad emotions contained inside escapes- sometimes in small amount, sometimes more. Sometimes it explodes and it takes more effort than usual to try and put it all back into the container.
   

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It's so painful to watch and read news and articles on the disagreements on issues of politics, religions, faith and beliefs. Why can't humans just live our lives peacefully, just keep each other safe and respect their rights to believe in whatever they believe in? As long as we don't harm others, what wrong have we done?

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Came across some old wuxia dramas from the 2000s on YouTube (Demi Gods and Semi Devils 2003, The Legend of the Condor Heroes 2003, Chinese Paladin 1 2005) and I became nostalgic while browsing through some episodes.

Weekends used to be very different when we all lived as a family back then. I would go to the supermarket with my dad in the afternoon and decide what to have for dinner that day. We would prepare the ingredients and cook together in the evening then enjoy the television dramas all the way till 11pm/12am. The feelings that these memories bring along is so heart wrenching I cannot begin to tell you how painful it is that this is just a memory- it's not possible any more, at least not with all of us in the same household.

And these dramas, they bring such comfort to me. Those nights sitting on our bean bags (we don't have sofas or chairs) in the living room and munching on home cooked snacks are everything. I would love to have a chance to relive it all over again.

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I came across the Vampire Academy movie yesterday on Youtube and it brought back memories of the time I read it when I was younger. As compared to Twilight, I liked this series (way) better. Even though some parts were written a little "childishly", it's mostly well written and well plotted.

Thinking about Jesse soon darkened my mood, unfortunately. I looked down. "I know you heard what people are saying, that I ---"

"I know it's not true," he interrupted.

His immediate, certain answer surprised me, and I stupidly found myself questioning it. "Yeah, but how do you ---"

"Because I know you," he replied firmly. "I know your character. I know you're going to be a great guardian."

I like that it's well balanced between romance, action and fantasy. I like that the main female protagonist is not a damsel in distress like Bella is in Twilight. I like how Dimitri is very trusting of Rose and her ability to protect herself and Lisa.

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