Thursday, July 24, 2014
You know the diary we love to pass around our friends when we were in primary school? I never really know what to write under the section that says "Hobbies" or "Favourites" so I usually write typical things like cycling, swimming, or reading (despite not knowing how to cycle and being afraid of water...hmm go judge). I never knew what I really like. Or how to introduce or describe myself. I didn't really know myself. Realizing that, I became more "self conscious", trying to pick out what I like and dislike at new and old things I try.
And then as I discover myself over the years, I suppose everyone around me kind of know the basis of things I like (now); photography, learning Korean, guitar, video editing, sometimes reading etc.
But I still feel like there's something missing. Like.. these things doesn't add up right. It feels kind of artificial in a way. It seems too... tangible. Like the kind of standard answers you tell people by list when they ask you what you love. Even though I do love all the things mentioned, something's just missing.
Recently I realize, with the excessive amount of YouTube videos I've been watching, what is the missing "piece". Self expression. Yes, I do express myself a lot, way more than I probably should or need to. But I mean like expression through creativity. I loved all things art related but I don't express much. Or I don't know how to. After 2 years of doing the 365 project, I feel depleted of energy and creativity simply because my life is boring and I don't go out much. And if I do, I probably don't dare to step out of the comfort zone to just shoot (photos). It's just... there's a lot of excuses I make up that ultimately restricts myself. Even with editing videos, I rather be systematic and neat, instead of trying to mix things up and try different approaches.
I like fashion. Ohkay. I don't mean that like "artistic fashion" or like "I aspire to dress crazy or weird or out of place fashion". I just...like dressing up, feeling good. Every girl does. Not the "ooh I want to dress up to attract attention" way but just feel like it's an (cheesily) artform. I like pairing things, matching textures and all. I'm not bold in my wardrobe choices, but I want to venture a little more in that area while I still can. Sometimes being 20 makes me feel like we should cherish this period more or while it last.
I intend to start a blog though I haven't decide on content. It's not going to be a fashion-only blog because I'm definitely not up for that at the moment (or ever) but I think I should at least take the first step. It might not last. It might. Who knows. At least, no regrets right?
So funny that I feel compelled to write this post. I feel like it's important for me; expression. And like Sharon Shinn quoted “I realized a long time ago, with a certain amazement, that no mattter how important something is in your life, no matter how huge it is, how much space it takes up in your heart and in your thoughts, unless you mention it to other people, they have no idea it exists.”
And then as I discover myself over the years, I suppose everyone around me kind of know the basis of things I like (now); photography, learning Korean, guitar, video editing, sometimes reading etc.
But I still feel like there's something missing. Like.. these things doesn't add up right. It feels kind of artificial in a way. It seems too... tangible. Like the kind of standard answers you tell people by list when they ask you what you love. Even though I do love all the things mentioned, something's just missing.
Recently I realize, with the excessive amount of YouTube videos I've been watching, what is the missing "piece". Self expression. Yes, I do express myself a lot, way more than I probably should or need to. But I mean like expression through creativity. I loved all things art related but I don't express much. Or I don't know how to. After 2 years of doing the 365 project, I feel depleted of energy and creativity simply because my life is boring and I don't go out much. And if I do, I probably don't dare to step out of the comfort zone to just shoot (photos). It's just... there's a lot of excuses I make up that ultimately restricts myself. Even with editing videos, I rather be systematic and neat, instead of trying to mix things up and try different approaches.
I like fashion. Ohkay. I don't mean that like "artistic fashion" or like "I aspire to dress crazy or weird or out of place fashion". I just...like dressing up, feeling good. Every girl does. Not the "ooh I want to dress up to attract attention" way but just feel like it's an (cheesily) artform. I like pairing things, matching textures and all. I'm not bold in my wardrobe choices, but I want to venture a little more in that area while I still can. Sometimes being 20 makes me feel like we should cherish this period more or while it last.
I intend to start a blog though I haven't decide on content. It's not going to be a fashion-only blog because I'm definitely not up for that at the moment (or ever) but I think I should at least take the first step. It might not last. It might. Who knows. At least, no regrets right?
So funny that I feel compelled to write this post. I feel like it's important for me; expression. And like Sharon Shinn quoted “I realized a long time ago, with a certain amazement, that no mattter how important something is in your life, no matter how huge it is, how much space it takes up in your heart and in your thoughts, unless you mention it to other people, they have no idea it exists.”