I have all these thoughts in my mind and I don't know how they match up. Or maybe I do, I just keep suppressing them. I watched Ingrid Nilsen's coming out video earlier and I understand her stress of suppression because of society's views. (No, I'm not gay.)

"We all deserve our best chances." -Ingrid Nilsen

I'm forcing and stressing myself too much (and not doing anything about it). My mind keeps pulling and pushing between what I want to do and what I need to do; and I'm just stuck in between. After all these months I feel like I'm still not really doing what I want to do with enough resolution. I don't let myself fully enjoy doing what I want to do even though I have ALL the time to. I limit myself mentally even though I HAD time and space and the ability to do, because people disapproves, and people are judging. To a certain extent these are just excuses, but all I have in mind is "I need to find a job. I need to find a job. I need to find a job."

I want to

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