Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Fifth month of being a jobless graduate.
There's so much going on in my mind this past few months. Although I haven't had any idea where or what I really want to do as a career, I have discovered (once again) the wonderful platform of the Internet. These days spent at home I have learnt so much. Everyone around me (including myself) has been giving me unspoken pressure about getting a job. I can't tell you confidently that I know what I'm doing, or if what I'm doing is going to lead to anything solid, but I know that I'm working on understanding myself- and only then will I know what I want.
I love art, even though I might be bad at it. I'm not consistent; in my "works", or what I like, or what I think, but I love art. It's such a weird thing to say or tell people, because there's no real physical evidence of this love. I always end up giving up because I think I'm not good enough- I am not confident; I don't know where to start; I don't know where to go; I don't know what I can or should do... Excuses after excuses. I never really make any progress, but instead forever walking around in circles. No one really treat these thoughts of mine seriously. I know friends and family wouldn't put me down, but no one's pushing either; so I stay stagnant.
I don't know if the phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none" suits my situation because I don't really think my knowledge in the random things are really good enough to be considered as knowledge- I think them more like random ingredients I picked up along the way, and I don't have enough to cook up a good dish. I really want to be able to excel at at least one thing, but I'm unable to just focus on one (lol, typical me). But with time I wish that I'll be able to build knowledge and experience for all the things I love.
There's so much going on in my mind this past few months. Although I haven't had any idea where or what I really want to do as a career, I have discovered (once again) the wonderful platform of the Internet. These days spent at home I have learnt so much. Everyone around me (including myself) has been giving me unspoken pressure about getting a job. I can't tell you confidently that I know what I'm doing, or if what I'm doing is going to lead to anything solid, but I know that I'm working on understanding myself- and only then will I know what I want.
I love art, even though I might be bad at it. I'm not consistent; in my "works", or what I like, or what I think, but I love art. It's such a weird thing to say or tell people, because there's no real physical evidence of this love. I always end up giving up because I think I'm not good enough- I am not confident; I don't know where to start; I don't know where to go; I don't know what I can or should do... Excuses after excuses. I never really make any progress, but instead forever walking around in circles. No one really treat these thoughts of mine seriously. I know friends and family wouldn't put me down, but no one's pushing either; so I stay stagnant.
I don't know if the phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none" suits my situation because I don't really think my knowledge in the random things are really good enough to be considered as knowledge- I think them more like random ingredients I picked up along the way, and I don't have enough to cook up a good dish. I really want to be able to excel at at least one thing, but I'm unable to just focus on one (lol, typical me). But with time I wish that I'll be able to build knowledge and experience for all the things I love.
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
— Confucius