I'm fighting my own mental battle. It's not the number of school days I have. It's not the amount of assignments. It's not those visible stress that stresses me out. It's... just me. I'm fighting my own mind. And I'm losing. I can't overcome my own bad and negative thoughts. I can't stop myself from being mean. I can't live each day without a purpose or motivation. I always need something or someone to give me the mental support I needed. That's how I'm dependent on people. And that's bad. Because that's leaving my life in someone else's hands.

I think I need a prolong period of time alone for me to get my head straight. I don't like that I have to make up excuses as to why I don't feel like attending gatherings or meetups. I just don't have the energy to. And it frustrates me further having to do something that I'm unwilling to. I hate it even more when people don't understand and get all angry at me for not trying to keep contact. I'm sorry, I can't even handle my own feelings, much less yours.

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